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Carry On, Asshole

So, it’s mid-January, and right about now is when all those New Year’s resolutions you made two weeks ago start to fade into oblivion—along with what little money you had left in your bank account after Christmas. Personally, I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. I think they’re just one more way of setting myself up for failure, and believe me when I tell you, if there’s anything I have plenty of—it’s failure.

Failure generally make us feel worthless and shitty, but the older I get, the more respect I have for the education that comes along with it. Think about it—if failure didn’t exist we would all walk around acting a tad too big for our britches, and let’s face it, people like that are assholes. You know the type, they’re the ones who make those disgustingly-bragging posts on Facebook about all the cool stuff they have and how great their life is. Deep down you know it’s all just bullshit, but somehow they manage to get nine hundred likes while simultaneously making you puke in your mouth from pure jealousy because, clearly, they’ve never failed at anything. (Truthfully, they probably have failed, but not enough to make them realize the importance of modesty.) Without failure, we would all be that kind of asshole and none of us would work harder to be better than we are right now.

You see, if there was no fear of failing at anything, then what point would there be in actually trying anything? Accomplishment walks hand in hand with failure, and even though they’re about as alike as me and say, Donald Trump, one needs the other in order to succeed. As hard as it is to admit sometimes, both sides need to give, take and ultimately grow as a team before progress is realized. In that painful process, failure teaches us how small we are—and that’s a good thing because this ginormous world is packed full of people who are prettier, smarter and infinitely more talented than we are, and the sooner we accept that, the more endurance we’ll have when running in this race called life.

Sure, there’s things I could pledge to do this year that might make me feel like a better human being. But instead of trying to be a better human, I think it’s generally just a better idea to actually be one, and I don’t need to make false promises to myself to do that. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking anyone who makes resolutions, because maybe that works for them. But, for me, instead of setting goals I know I’ll never attain (like cutting down on my cursing, being on time for pretty much anything, exercising and sleeping more, eating better, and not spending so much money on Amazon or at Half Price Books), instead I decided to take note of how I routinely fail and what that ultimately teaches me.

For instance …

I could go on and on about all the ways I fail every day in ways both big and small, but I think you get the idea here.

Another way I routinely fail is in giving good advice, but I will say this—when it comes to failure, you can let it teach you how to quit, or you can learn how to overcome it and keep going, even when it’s hard. Nothing worth achieving has ever been accomplished without failure—unless you happen to be one of the Facebook assholes I mentioned above. Personally, I prefer to be the person who isn’t afraid to look like an asshole while trying and failing at something six hundred times rather than being the asshole who doesn’t know the difference between looking like an asshole, or being one. Just saying.

Carry on, and thank you for reading!

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